How to Choose the Mother & Son Dance

On the flip side of the parental dance spectrum is the Mother-Son dance between the groom and his mom.

As opposed to the Father-Daughter dance, which we’ve discussed is one of the oldest wedding traditions; the Mother-Son dance appears to be a fairly modern invention. The exact origins are hard to trace to their exact beginnings, but it has become more popular over the past 20 years or so and is now as common as the Father-Daughter dance.

Most couples that we talk to feel guilty if they are going to have a Father-Daughter dance, but are thinking about not having the groom dance with his mom. This comes from a modern sense of equity that has become more prevalent recently.

The traditional wedding was typically paid for entirely by the bride’s parents and therefore the Father-Daughter dance helped to solidify the changing family dynamic and thank the bride’s parent for footing the bill. With this tradition, the groom’s parents were often marginalized, often times unintentionally, as the bride’s parents had more input on wedding decisions due to the fact they were paying. More recently the cost of weddings has been more distributed among both sets of parents and many times the couple themselves. This changing dynamic has led to the desire to recognize both families for their contributions, financial and otherwise, to the wedding day celebration.

Grooms typically do not have life-long dreams of what their wedding day will be like, some do but they are definitely the exception and not the rule. That being said, they are sometimes the ones who need the most help choosing a song to dance with their moms.

The advice for that is similar to that of the bride who isn’t sure of what to dance with her father, but it bears repeating:

1. Take suggestions from mom. She might have some idea of what she want song she wants to dance to, so ask her. You have the final say, but she’ll appreciate the request.

2. Pick something with meaning, something you shared when you were a child, or something that she always loved. That extra layer of sentiment will add potent emotion to the dance.

3. Compromise, again, don’t give in to something you absolutely don’t want to dance to, but if you’re on the fence and don’t know what you want, leaning in the direction that mom sends you will make her feel like her input and advice are really appreciated.

4. Have fun. Don’t overthink it and stop trying to make everything exactly perfect. Your wedding day should be one of the best days of your life and trying to micromanage everything will only cause more stress. Relax, have fun and pick a song that you and your mom can enjoy a meaningful dance.

5. Before we end the discussion of the parent dances with some recommendations for the Mother-Son dance, I want to take a second to address the parent dances as a whole and what can sometimes be an awkward situation. We all know that in today’s world there are many families that don’t fit into neat little packages, whether through death, divorce illness, or whatever, there can be more parents or less parents who want to be part of the wedding or who cannot be because they aren’t physically able to be there. Whatever your circumstance is, take time to discuss it with your DJ. We have all handled these situations and can offer you helpful advice for how to handle pretty much anything that comes up.

And now, some popular and recent examples of songs for the Mother-Son dance:

“A Song for Momma” –Boyz II Men

“A Letter to My Mother” –Edwin McCain

“Simple Man” –Lynyrd Skynyrd

“My Wish” –Rascal Flatts

“You Raise Me Up” –Josh Groban

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